


Sensation

by bjelkemander



Series: The Black Dog [6]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay, Insecurity, LEWD, Love, M/M, Scarring metaphors, Touching Dicks, Touchy-Feely, Trust, sensitivity to touch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 13:46:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16934358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjelkemander/pseuds/bjelkemander
Summary: Winter has fallen. Things don't go to plan. Asriel is anxious about his appearance. Trust is nice.





	Sensation

You shivered bitterly in your boots, gripping onto Asriel’s hand even tighter. Winter had come as suddenly as it always did. For months, the two of you were basking in the brisk but brilliant atmosphere of late autumn; then, without warning, everything was blanketed. There was no escaping the deep, heavy banks of pure white frost, and the more people seemed to try to keep the roads and paths clear of it, the harder nature seemed to respond. While the blizzards that heralded the season had subsided within a few days, their bounty remained, and you knew you’d unlikely see even a touch of green for many more weeks now.

It didn’t really bother you. While you tried to find the bright side to any time of year, winter always brought the two of you closest together. Outdoors, there were endless winter wonderland vistas to stroll by together, brilliant snow sculptures by the central parks, and the two of you could simply sit and watch the slushy lakes and rivers flow past for hours. Indoors, you could spend hours snuggled together in front of the fire, in bed on particularly cold mornings as well, and you loved showing off your winter recipes for Asriel. The holiday season brought even more cheer, whether it was visiting Toriel and Asgore for Christmas, or watching the fireworks from the safety of your balcony on New Year’s Eve.

Asriel hardly complained, either. He felt more at ease amongst the white drifts of snow, his ice white fur the perfect camouflage in the winter conditions. He hated attention in public, warranted or otherwise. He’d confided in you that he sometimes felt like everyone was watching him behind his back. He’d usually wear brown, gray or black to look as inconspicuous as possible , but shifted to pale and white colours in the snowy weather. It augmented his natural advantages in the climate, and his long winter coat of fur meant the reduced thermal conductivity wasn’t an issue.

Asriel’s shoulder brushed against yours as you continued down the frost-driven avenue. He let his head flop to rest on you for just a moment, sighing happily, before quickly drawing away as somebody turned a corner. “Do we have to cross the next street up here too, Frisk? Or are we turning right?” You nodded your head forward as your answer, the goat boy’s hand falling from yours as you tapped the crossing signal. It was a busy time of year, but the day could hardly have gone much better. You liked to have your Christmas shopping done sooner rather than later, so his monthly therapy session falling this early in the month was a blessing for both of you. You avoided the tedium of being in crowds, and Asriel avoided the terror of it. 

Having days out like this was important to both of you. Most of your duties to Asriel involved short-term assistance and support during his incidents and episodes, to ensure he could function in everyday life. However, the therapist had explained that an important part of Asriel’s recovery was ensuring he could integrate into doing those things for himself, without your help. While you’d always be there for him, you knew it was important that he get better, and not have to rely on you to live. It was something you took seriously, just as you did every other aspect of Asriel’s treatment.

Asriel valued these days out, too. His primary motivation wasn’t therapy, however, though you did try to ensure he kept a healthy regard for that. Rather, he came along entirely for the sake of spending time with you. While he was comfortable staying home alone, he preferred to be by your side. It had been hard at first; Asriel being a virtual recluse, and not wanting you to be away from him. It wasn’t just the comfort blanket element, though. Asriel had virtually no memories of just existing as a normal person, and now that he had the chance, he wanted to make them with you.

Asriel’s fingers linked back together with yours as the pedestrian signal turned green and you began to cross. It was just a few minutes walk from the shopping district of New Hope to the university campus where Asriel’s therapist consulted. It was a large sandstone university, buildings separated by lush green fields - at least, but for the weather. Tall, winding elm trees loomed above you both as you walked onto the quad. They’d be even more gorgeous once the chill broke and spring arrived. By then, it was one of the most picturesque areas of the city.

You’d had apprehensions about bringing Asriel here at first, given your previous experiences with the university. Following Asriel’s return, they’d tried to recruit him for some kind of research project. You’d never been fully across the details. The nature of the research wasn’t important, anyway. Asriel wasn’t a specimen to be probed and examined, and he certainly was in no state to submit to such procedures at the time they’d asked. Even as he improved, and the suggestions began to resurface, however, you refused. He deserved an ordinary life.

Asriel took a deep breath as you stared up at the psychology centre, the institution looming over the two of you. He gripped your hand tight and shifted closer, dragging you into the sheltered entrance. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want. I know it can get boring.” He gazed back out into the frosty campus, the university quad filled with humans, monsters and couples frolicking in the pure snow. Asriel found so much joy in the simplest things about the Surface, and finally being able to see humans and monsters living in harmony only intensified that.

You nodded and leaned in to kiss Asriel, the two of you holding each other close for a moment. You had a shadow of doubt in your mind about leaving Asriel alone, given his usual apprehensions, but you’d been told this was healthy. It was important for Asriel to seize on these moments of independence. You were already on the threshold of the psychology building, and it would be nice to have a chance to buy Asriel’s present while he wasn’t around. Your boyfriend drew away hesitantly, staring lovingly at you. “I’ll see you later, alright, honey?”

...

It must have been extra cold. The snowfall was very fine this year, drifting into scattered waves of powder as you kicked your way down the mall. It was going to be particularly rough driving back returning home after Asriel’s therapy session; you questioned whether you’d even have time to take him for coffee afterward. The roads leading back home were usually well-salted, but you’d try to get the snow tyres on anyway. It was a lot of work to get into New Hope so soon after the blizzards, but it was worth it. You got to do your shopping, Asriel could get to his therapy session, and the two of you spent quality time together.

Aside from now, at least. You’d never been so far from Asriel before during one of his sessions. Concern and doubt continued to swirl, casting a deep pit in your stomach. He was in a safe place, but it bothered you to leave him by himself someplace that wasn’t home. You had cast him adrift in a city that he barely knew, and certainly wasn’t prepared to handle himself in, if it came to that. You didn’t know how you could forgive yourself if something happened to him. You hadn’t even walked that far, but it was so easy for him to fall into a panic if something wasn’t quite right, or if he felt overwhelmed, or if...

You swallowed hard and pushed the thought from your mind. There was nothing to indicate that this therapy session was going to be anything but routine. Asriel had adapted wonderfully to his new medication over the past month. He had only experienced about one serious episode per week, easily enough for you both to manage. You’d both had a wonderful time exploring the Christmas displays at the stores and boutiques around New Hope. It would have been the first time Asriel was truly able to enjoy the holidays, and you couldn’t help but tingle at the thought it had been with you.

You dropped your hood as you stepped inside the small jewellery shop. It wasn’t upmarket; there was no talk of ‘if you have to ask, you can’t afford it’. Besides, you knew exactly what you were looking for. Despite how much research you’d done, you’d never really had much doubt as to what to buy Asriel. It was the first time you were spending Christmas together as a couple, and you’d immediately known what you wanted to buy him. You smiled and nodded as the cashier greeted you, guiding you over to the piece of jewellery you’d spent hours viewing, examining, and trying on.

You pored over the small gold locket, your heart in your throat as you flipped it over to read the inscription. It was a simple message, one you’d hoped would mean something to him. A blush flashed across your face as you spoke it in your mind; you’d felt like such a sappy dork when you’d put in the request. Nonetheless, you smiled and handed your credit card to the cashier - you’d be sure to ditch the receipt afterward. Asriel worried enough about having money spent on him; he didn’t need that on his mind. He’d just fly into a downward spiral of crunching numbers and stressing over how to repay you.

You took the neatly gift-wrapped package and stowed it inside your coat; right against your chest in the deep interior pocket. Asriel would know once he saw it; you wanted to keep it incognito for now. You felt stupid and emotional and gay for being so excited about buying this for your partner, but you couldn’t deny that it thrilled you. It wasn’t just a new experience for Asriel. It was the first time you’d had a boyfriend, too, and sometimes you wondered just how lucky you’d been to be able to share these memories with somebody like him.

The chill sent a bitter shudder down your spine as you stepped back outside. You glanced up at the dark grey sky; the weather must have shifted while you were inside. You raised your sleeve to eye level as snowflakes gently began to fall, examining them closely. You were only about 10-15 minutes from the campus, but you hoped Asriel’s therapy session would be finished by the time you arrived. You’d definitely have to attach the snow chains to your car if it was starting to fall already. Setting forth at a brisk pace, you began to head back toward the therapist’s office, clutching Asriel’s gift tightly against your chest.

...

The psychology centre was heated, at least. You brushed away the light dusting of snow that had collected on your jacket, the remaining snowflakes melting away under the harsh fluorescent lights. The building was something of a labyrinth, but you knew exactly where to head. You’d made this walk with Asriel so many times, it was like muscle memory. Sharp left, two stories up, right, right. You drew a deep breath as you rested your fingers on the handle. Thoughts danced threw your mind as you tried to think of what you’d ask him, various scenarios and things that Asriel might say playing out in front of you.

Despite your boyfriend’s progress, you couldn’t help but feel anxious whenever he emerged from the therapist’s interview room. While you generally didn’t know exactly what was discussed, he always cane out of the sessions quieter and more reflective. In the worst case, he’d be a sobbing wreck. While things were better these days, he still struggled with some of the matters he was compelled to address with the therapist. He’d often ask you to forgive him for vague events you barely recalled, both from before and after your time in the Underground. He carried a lot of pain, and after speaking about it, he could be at its most raw.

You shook your head and tried to ignore the nagging doubt. It was important for Asriel to address his past, the things he’d done while trapped in his floral state. They were obviously distressing memories, but he needed to be able to distinguish between who he was then and who he was now. It was naturally a difficult topic to address with a human, but it was better this way. Monsters didn’t need to know the true nature of Asriel’s past. He lived with enough guilt already. The best thing for him was to just continue working through these issues with his therapist, along with your love and support.

Sighing deeply, you gripped the handle and turned. Asriel’s eyes immediately met yours, and your heart dropped as you saw what filled them. Almost as soon as you appeared, he was beside you, arms flung around your neck. He was virtually silent, beside a deep, heavy breathing that seemed as much a coping strategy as a panicked response. You immediately started stroking the back of his head, holding onto your partner tightly as he tried to stop himself from bursting into tears. He heaved against you as he slowly calmed himself down, clutching on as though you may disappear again if he let go.

This sometimes happened. Usually, Asriel was reasonably adept at keeping himself emotionally in check during these sessions, at least as he had told it to you. He might panic, cry, or seize up, but the therapist could usually bring him back down to Earth. In any case, the nature of the topics that were discussed was inevitably quite confronting, and it could all prove too much for Asriel. Sometimes he would take hours to calm down, his mind haunted by visions of what he’d done and who he’d hurt. Beside full-blown episodes, it was one of his most vulnerable states, and it distressed you deeply.

This time didn’t seem so bad, at least. He was holding himself together, if only just. Had you even been a minute or two later, he could have been an inconsolable, sobbing mess. Your hand roamed his back firmly but gently, trying to soothe the startled goat as he held onto you. The two of you stood like that for a few minutes - you’d have been blocking the doorway had anybody come along. He slowly began to calm down, his deep, shaky breaths slowly fading as he realised he was safe, with you. He pulled away slowly, reluctant to separate himself from you, standing at arm’s length and looking into your eyes sadly.

You tried to avoid swallowing deeply now you’d had a chance to properly examine his face. His typically pure, snowy fur was traced with deep black lines, the patterns glowing darkly with unnatural, black light. They seemed to run deeply into his skin, casting long shadows across his visage. His eyes, however, were always the most confronting. They were pitch black, the glossy surface shimmering with tears. It made it hard to tell where Asriel was looking, but you knew he was focused directly into your pupils. He squeezed them shut and shied away after a few seconds, unable to meet your gaze any longer.

You fell back in and embraced him again. This wasn’t the first time you’d seen him like this. The first time you had, you’d almost been thrown into a panic yourself. You’d wanted nothing more than to just hold onto him, cry, and hope that it would somehow just go away. The only thing that had stopped you was knowing how lost Asriel would feel if he didn’t think you were in control. The two of you had gone through a brief, but uncomfortable, awkward period after that. Panic would have been unwarranted, anyway. This was mostly harmless. It had taken a while to have it explained to you, but you understood. 

In times of severe emotional stress, the magical energy that formed Asriel’s body could also become stressed by that same trauma. In his case, it acted defensively, trying to channel its power outward against what it perceived as the threat. While there was no real danger, it manifested as something very central to his trauma - the body markings that defined his Hyperdeath form. It had been somewhat confronting for you at first. He’d been cowered as it happened, sure, but your also had to live with the memory and pain of your first encounter with him.

Still, it wasn’t his fault. The experience was far more distressing for him. It wasn’t a permanent effect - the markings usually faded after a day or so - but it wasn’t much comfort. They were an undeniable reminder of who he’d been and what he’d done, and he was terrified that somebody might make that link. It could get as bad as a true emotional episode; he’d often just hide himself under the covers of your bed, not wanting even you to see him. But he knew he needed your support during these times as much as any, and came to depend on your love to bring him through as well.

You sat Asriel back down on the couch as the two of you reluctantly separated, the goat boy doing his best to keep his head low and face hidden. You shrugged off your heavy coat - the confidentiality of his gift wasn’t a great concern right now - and rested it over his shoulders, drawing the hood up over his horns. He smiled very slightly and took your hand, obviously in deep contemplation. “I’m sorry.” You squeezed his paw tightly in response, urging him to continue. “It was nothing, really... She said something and then just, click - it all came flooding back.”

You nodded grimly and pursed your lips, gently squeezing Asriel’s thigh with your free hand. The most tragic manifestation of Asriel’s condition was when his symptoms appeared with simply no trigger at all, out of nowhere. The two of you could be sitting alone, doing absolutely nothing at all, and he’d suddenly burst into deep, heaving sobs as he remembered his sins. It was an unpredictable, transient kind of pain, and one that Asriel resented deeply. He rarely became angry about things, but the idea that his mind could betray him at any time was one of them.

Asriel sighed sadly and covered his eyes for a moment, either to wipe away an errant tear or simply to avoid having you see them. Rising to his feet, he maintained his grip on your hand while edging toward the door. “C-can we please just go home... She said she didn’t need to see you afterward.” You’d have liked to have been able to speak to her about Asriel’s progress, though it seemed some issues took longer to address than others. But, you knew how much the markings tormented Asriel, how embarrassed he was by them, and you didn’t want to upset him further by subjecting him to the gaze of others.

You led him from the therapist’s office and back through the warren of hallways and doors. The goat boy kept close behind you, the hood drawn tightly enough that nearly his entire face was cast in shadow. You both walked briskly back to the garage where you’d left your car, taking the long route to minimise the number of people you’d have to walk past. Asriel was silent as you reached your spot and slid into the driver’s seat. He simply buried his face in his hands and whimpered softly as you drove from the garage, speeding toward the highway for the long, hard journey home.

...

You barged through the front door to your house, the cold wind blasting behind you and Asriel. You dumped the bags and packages you’d stowed under both arms on the table; you’d have time to sort them out later. Asriel made a beeline for the sofa, collapsing onto it in a heap. The drive home had been better than you expected. The snowfall hadn’t picked up as much as you’d feared, and most of the low visibility was from fog and wind. Still, it had been a rough ride, and Asriel had enough on his mind before having to worry about whether you’d end up rolling or over a railing or something.

You sat down beside the pile of jackets that was your boyfriend, rubbing his back softly. He’d calmed down substantially on the ride home, but his thoughts were still haunting him, and the black markings remained etched into his face. You gently drew back the hood covering his head to stroke him, the goat boy whimpering as his face was revealed again. “Thanks, Frisk.” The two of you remained there for quite a while, Asriel simply staring off into the distance in melancholy as you kept a reliable hand stroking at his head. The night had fallen sometime on the drive home, though it was hard to tell. It seemed you’d arrived home just in time, though, as the wind picked up and snowfall began to batter the large pane glass windows.

Asriel eventually stirred slightly under your touch, slowly shedding the jackets that enveloped him. “I don’t have much of an appetite, Frisk. I think I’m just gonna go straight to bed.” His voice was absent its usual upbeat and pleasant tone, coming as a suppressed drone that seemed totally disconnected of emotion. You could feel the pain that bound him, though, in his tense flesh, his heavy breaths, his slight shiver. You meandered behind him as he headed for the bedroom, but he suddenly stopped and turned, lips pursed. “And, I think I just want to shower by myself tonight. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

It wasn’t just his face. The markings that arose in these periods of trauma flowed across his entire body, from his neck down to his toes. That was going off his own recount, of course. He felt awful having you see his face this way; he’d never allowed you to see his entire body. He’d bought gloves to wear just so his hands would be concealed, even as the symptoms only lasted a few more hours. While he’d learned to recognise that he wasn’t going to somehow hurt you in his condition, he still preferred to minimise contact. It just made the ordeal that much more trying, given how much it distressed you both.

Nonetheless, you nodded, passing him to gently kiss his cheek before he disappeared toward the en suite bathroom. You yawned and slumped to the fridge, idly examining the largely empty interior. You hadn’t had a chance to eat while out; you’d been relying on the prospect of collecting something on the way home. That had gone out of the question with both the blizzard and Asriel, however, and neither looked to be improving anytime soon. Sighing, you collected a bag of bread and fillings from the corner of the fridge, piecing together a basic sandwich to tide you over.

Asriel poked his head from the bedroom as you finished washing up, doing his best to keep his bare, marked chest hidden behind the doorframe. “You can go shower now, hun.” You appreciated Asriel going to the effort of using your pet name even in such an emotional time, but you could tell his heart wasn’t in it. There wasn’t any detail in his solid, obsidian eyes, but they were tired, his eyelids slumped and lazy. He had slight bags under his eyes from crying so much earlier, but at least the shower had cleaned up the salty residue that had left his fur wet and matted. You could tell he was out of it, and that wasn’t a surprise.

Asriel was already tucked in bed as you entered the room, covers drawn high over his shoulders. You knew he wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon though; he often simply couldn’t when haunted by these thoughts. Feeling grimy from your earlier walk to the jewellery store, you headed for the bathroom yourself. It was still steamy from Asriel’s time in there; the air perfumed with pine and cinnamon from his speciality fur shampoo. Stepping into the shower, you set the jet to a hot blast, immediately shuddering as the steaming water hit your skin. You sighed and relaxed, leaning back to let the water flow through your hair.

Asriel’s scent still lingered in the shower. It was mostly hidden beneath the refreshing aroma of his shampoo, but you could pick it. It was a bolder scent of cinnamon than the essential oils in the shampoo; one that was unmistakeable as his. It was so like him to take the time to wash his hair even while feeling the way he was. He always complained that he couldn’t sleep if he hadn’t bathed properly, though that was just to freshen himself up. Every week or so, he’d have to isolate himself in the shower for over half an hour at a time, running the potent formula through the soft, white fluff that covered his entire body.

You’d consider asking if he wanted a hand with it sometime. You blushed at the thought, lingering a little longer on the idea of helping him cover himself in the slick, aqueous shampoo. You’d walked into him in the process of applying it several times, and it didn’t leave much to the imagination. He was covered in the stuff. It was a tantalising thought, helping him bathe. Maybe it’d make fur care less of a chore for Asriel. He could just sit there, letting you spread the liquid through his soft, shaggy ears, his tight, lean chest... His fluffy belly... His groin... His butt...

You snapped from the thought as you felt heat in your lower regions, reaching down gingerly to grip your genitals. Ever since your first sexual experience with him - right here under the shower - you’d been fantasising about him a lot. It was largely mild and innocent; the same thoughts you always had of kissing and cuddling with him, just more intimate. He hadn’t mentioned it himself, though, and given the way he spoke about it when he did, he seemed pretty shy. Besides, now wasn’t the time for anything like that. Asriel was as sensitive enough about his appearance at the moment as ever, and he’d just become more upset if you tried to suggest anything to him now. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to just think about him...

You bit your lip softly as you let your fantasy continue, stroking yourself softly. After a few seconds, however, you sighed and released your shaft. Asriel was probably waiting for you to get back to bed, and you felt guilty about making him wait for you to jerk off while he was so sensitive. Letting the water run over yourself for a few seconds longer, you shut off the flow, exiting the shower and drying yourself down. You grabbed a used pair of pyjama pants from the hamper that’d only been worn once or twice. As much as you’d love the chance to sleep naked with Asriel, tonight wasn’t the night.

Asriel shifted to glance back at you as you exited the en suite, flashing a weak smile. He was silent as you climbed into bed and pulled the cover closer, letting you wrap an arm around his waist nonetheless. Despite Asriel’s fears about what he may be capable of while marked, he loved to be held. Close contact always made him feel safe, and he especially needed that comfort while plagued by his thoughts. The goat boy murmured softly and rolled over in place, the covers slipping slightly. He stared down before turning to face you, his deep black eyes blinking shyly.

Usually, Asriel slept shirtless. He was warm enough with his fur as it was, plus he loved when you snuggled into his furry chest and rested your head there. On occasions where his trauma manifested physically, however, he dressed conservatively, wearing long, dark pyjama sets that concealed most of his body. It was impersonal, but he just preferred not to be seen. They were warm, nonetheless, and soft enough to cuddle into, but it didn’t compare to his usual snow white coat. He slowly wrapped his arms around you as you embraced each other, shifting a little closer.

You’d never asked why Asriel felt so compelled to hide his markings from you. You’d both discussed your feelings about the condition after it became clear it was an ongoing issue. While you’d admitted they’d upset you slightly when you first saw them, you knew it was still him, and had made it clear that it didn’t bother you and you forgave him. It wasn’t much comfort. He couldn’t explain just why he felt so anxious and ashamed of it, but there was something that deeply troubled him. Maybe being touched along the markings hurt him. Maybe he thought he was ugly. But you couldn’t help him if you didn’t know.

You gazed back into his eyes, studying the featureless black orbs. They were like two perfectly smooth, perfectly dark stones that had been placed in his head, and yet they had a liquid, glassy surface. They bore no veins, irises, or pupils; yet, you could feel a piercing stare whenever he seemed to be looking at you. They were beautiful, in a way, but it was hard to express exactly how. You decided not to touch the topic, given how sensitive Asriel was about the body markings. He didn’t need to think he was somehow hurting you just by staring.

“I’m glad you’re here, Frisk.” His voice was croaky and tired, as though he’d just been crying. You ran a hand across his head, scratching at his ear as a way of thanking him. He whined and leaned into you, the faint hints of bleating escaping his lips. It was a little naughty, given how sensitive his ears were, but it always seemed to release Asriel’s tension, and you figured he could use that right now. He sighed and squeezed you tightly, his head dropping to your chest. He rested there for a moment before shifting away, a frown etched on his face. “I’m sorry for being so difficult all the time.”

That was the thing that hit you after the whole day. After how much you’d seen Asriel cry, despair, and suffer, he was the one apologising. He’d been doing everything right as far as adhering to his treatment, and he still couldn’t stop himself from breaking down completely. It was a cruel state. He was haunted by visions of things he’d done, things he hadn’t done, and things he could have done. For all intents and purposes, none of it had happened but for his most benevolent act - the breaking of the Barrier. Yet, it had happened, and he remembered it all.

But, that wasn’t who he was. You knew that more than anyone. You knew the depths of his regret over what he’d done; he was willing to go back to his soulless state as penance for his crimes, and he had, for a time. But, now he was here, Asriel Dreemurr as he should be, and he could begin to move past and heal. Nights like this didn’t make it easy, though. When he couldn’t feel comfortable letting his partner even see the markings that defaced his body and caused him so much pain, it was hard to know how to help him. It seemed to be a problem even you couldn’t overcome.

You focused intensely on the vein running down Asriel’s cheek, stroking slowly at his head. It was hard to describe the substance of the marking. The strange black aura seemed visible even in the low light, yet was beyond your perception. It was darkness, only brighter. You could only imagine how they felt, or how they felt to Asriel. They seemed sensitive, at least, given the loose fit of his pyjama set. Running your hand down the side of his head, he seemed to shift closer to your chest, his breaths slow and steady. You weren’t quite sure, and it was a risk, but maybe there was something you could do.

Gently, you let your fingers run over the edge of the marking. Asriel gasped as he felt you probing around, instantly tensing up. “Frisk... Please...” He shuddered softly as your fingertips fell between the cracks of the scar, but he didn’t pull away. You slowly withdrew your hand as you leaned in, gently planting a kiss on his lips. He whimpered but reciprocated, his toes gently brushing up against yours at the end of the bed. Reaching over to his temple, you gently ran your index finger over the end of the marking, where his soft flesh and fluffy fur seemed to give way to the darkness.

Asriel took a deep breath and let his eyes flicker back open. “It’s sensitive.” He said quietly, his breath shaking as you grazed his head. He relented, however, flopping to rest against your roaming hand. “Just be careful...” Your heart started racing as he said this - he really did seem like he wanted you to continue. Returning to the deep mark that cut across his cheek, you gently pressed your fingers into the crevice, brushing up against the surface. It was smooth but ridged, like dark ebony, but buzzed with a hidden energy. It was like touching the ends of a battery; your arm tingled slightly as you stroked it.

Asriel shuddered as you ran your index finger along the vein, fingers clawing into your back. You could feel his toes curl at your touch, his leg pushing forward to entangle itself with yours. He groaned as you released contact, his eyes blinking open. “Y-You’re so gentle, Frisk.” He whispered, staring up blearily from your chest. “You can keep touching, if you want.” You blushed at how easily Asriel picked up on your excitement. It was intimate, but not sexual. You weren’t sure of his exact emotional state, but he seemed calm, and you’d always stop immediately if he asked you.

Asriel whined softly as you began tracing the marking running down his neck. The magical energy of the exposed vein buzzed through your fingertip, sending sparks up your arm. You trailed down toward his shoulders, hooking your finger along the collar of his shirt. Touching his face was lovely, but you knew what that looked like. You wanted to see the rest of him. You wanted to be able to lay against his fluffy chest and trace the narrow veins of the markings. He gulped as you stretched the fabric downward, and reached down to grasp the bottom of his shirt.

“I-I can take it off, if you really want.” He went bright red as he spoke, head locked downward, unable to meet your gaze. You reached back up to stroke his cheek, taking care not to brush the markings too roughly, before leaning in to kiss him. Asriel was a sensitive boy. He loved cuddling and being held, but it had taken him a long time to get to that point. After his return, he’d developed aversions to touch across his body, even from you. Nothing appeared to have set it off. It could well have been the wake of the shock of being back to being, well, himself.

Initially, he’d jerk away from even your touch. That’s how things had started to become so platonic, really, far before they became romantic. It was all part of the treatment plan that the therapist had provided you with. It was all about building trust, and teaching Asriel to be comfortable with contact. You started with hand holding. It was slightly awkward at first, but Asriel quickly got used to having you grip onto him. Then again, he had known Chara, all those years ago; human hands weren’t totally new to him. The treatment had nearly been discontinued after those memories came back a few times, but Asriel was determined to continue.

Hugging was where things really began to change. While he’d been struck by memory when you’d first embraced, it was one of the few that didn’t seem to bring him pain. He told you how he felt like he was back in the Underground, having fallen from grace as the God of Hyperdeath after breaking the Barrier. He was on the verge of returning to his unimaginable existence as a soulless flower. As he’d sobbed, willing himself to simply vanish from existence, you’d been there to comfort him, embracing him as a friend in his darkest hour.

It seemed to awaken something in him. Some deep affection that he hadn’t felt since he as a child. It made him seem more alive than he had been in years. He could barely let you go after that. You spent nearly an hour on the couch with him as he wept, thanking you as though it were for the first time again. Things had been different after that. He no longer had an air of fear around him constantly; when you were around, he seemed to be at peace. From there, the touching escalated to cuddling, then to heavy petting, then to kissing, then to sleeping together. It had taken over a year, but it was one of the most exciting times of your life.

That’s why he knew to trust you when you kissed him. It reassured him that you were really there, and that you loved him, and that you’d never hurt him. He couldn’t help but cry out quietly into your mouth as you kissed him. You felt a wet splash on your cheek as he passionately returned the kiss. Chara has been right about one thing; he really was a crybaby. He pulled away slowly, smiling through the tears, as he slowly stripped off his shirt and tossed it to the end of the bed, leaning back to let you admire his elaborately marked chest. “All yours, honey.”

You held your breath as you gazed upon him, examining every inch of the patterns that adorned his body. The markings curved and curled around his torso, elegantly dodging and intersecting each other. His chest was occupied by a large, hemispherical marking, shallow but wide. It was flanked by a pair of arching wings, appearing more as a tattoo than scarring. The markings trailed down his belly, descending further than you could see. You mentally slapped your eyes; you were getting far too ahead of yourself. It was hard to believe you’d even made it this far. But Asriel seemed just as willing as you to continue now.

You couldn’t help yourself. Slowly, you reached out and pressed your index finger to the disc in the middle of his chest. He gasped at the touch, throwing his head back, tongue lolling. You began to trace slow, lazy arcs around the slopes, your finger caught in an invisible vortex of magical energy. The tingling in your arm seemed to intensify as you approached the centre, and a soft groan escaped Asriel’s lips as you did. You quickly withdrew to just the rim of the hemisphere; no sense putting too much pressure on him. He gasped softly as you dragged your finger away, a dazed smile on his lips.

“It feels so strange, Frisk... I don’t know how to describe it.” He shook his head as you began to frown, gently rubbing your back. “It’s okay, though.” He said, urging you to continue. You kissed his nose and pressed your finger back to his chest, running it up and down the wings that crested the circle. Asriel shuddered as you pushed your finger into the smooth, humming surface of the marking, clinging onto you for dear life. “Frisssssssssk...” He whined as you continued to stimulate him, boldly raising your second hand to trace both wings at once.

You could tell he was doing okay. He was normally anxious and fearful about intimacy, but that wasn’t for lack of desire. The important thing was making him feel comfortable about opening up, taking things slow, and keeping the environment low pressure. You never tried to rush him along, only escalating when he was ready, and made sure to keep it intersected with lots of hugging, kissing and hand holding to make him feel safe. The kissing had been a big leap initially, but things had moved far past mere platonic feelings by that point. Sometimes, he just needed somebody to help him take the jump.

Your heart raced as you traced his markings down across his belly, the trail almost vanishing in his thick, fluffy fur. Nonetheless, you continued forward, biting your lip as you came to the waist of Asriel’s pants. You were really starting to push him now. You deviated from the markings and trailed your fingers along the edge of the fabric, drumming them slowly. Asriel gulped and glanced downward, reaching down to grab your hand. You stopped immediately; if you were going too far, he just had to tell you. He’d had such a positive experience letting you touch him so far, and you didn’t want to ruin that.

“Frisk... You know you’re the only one I’d ever let touch me like this.” He whispered, eyes squeezed shut as he focused on trying to find his words. “I-I’m not sure if I’m ready but... I think I am.” His eyes flicked open, the jet black surface shimmering in the faint light. You were still completely lost in them, but he could only be staring at you. Pressing your mouth to his, you gently rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips. Taking a deep breath, you hooked your fingers into each side of his pants and slowly pulled them down, revealing Asriel’s lower regions.

He wasn’t aroused, but he was excited, his thick goat cock swollen and twitching from the previous intimate contact. You could see him go bright red as his genitals were revealed, raising a hand to shield his eyes for a moment. “Y-you’re doing okay, honey.” You stared at his groin with bated breath, examining the loops and whirls of the markings that flowed down his thighs and around to his butt. Mostly, though, you examined his genitals. It was far from the first time you’d seen them; and given your previous experience in the shower, not the first time you’d touched them, either. This time seemed different, though; the atmosphere was less confused, things were at a slower pace, and you both knew what to expect from the other.

Picking up where you’d left off, you let your finger gently trail along the markings that led down from his belly. You crossed paths and deviated as you followed the line that led down and around his balls, trailing your finger wickedly close to his anus before drawing away. Gasps, whimpers, and the occasional quiet bleat escaped Asriel’s lips, the goat boy lost in a tempest of emotion and sensation. He hardly noticed as your fingers drifted away from his markings and toward his cock, a loud squeak escaping his lips as you gripped his shaft tightly.

“Oh... Oh, Frisk.” He held you tightly as you slowly stroked the length of his penis, his breath shuddering as you pumped away. He hesitated for a moment, setting you on alert, before his own fingers trailed down to slide inside the waist of your own pants. “Frisk... I want you to enjoy it this time as well.” You smiled and tried to suppress your laugh; of course Asriel’s main memory of last time was that you didn’t cum. You did want to have that experience with him, though. Kissing Asriel’s cheek, you quickly stripped off your pants and tossed both pairs from the bed, sitting back to admire his body in the pale light.

He stared up at you, eyes wide, awaiting your judgment as you studied his body. For all appearances as something that had once struck terror into your heart, he was in an incredibly vulnerable position. He panted softly as he lay there, bare chest heaving. His arms stretched akimbo, hands relaxed, completely offering himself to your mercy. You reached down and gently tapped the scar on his chest, sending an electric shiver down both your spines. Shuffling up his body, you lay your cocks next to each other. You stared into his eyes for a moment, before taking both in your hand and pressing them together.

Asriel immediately went deep crimson and threw his head back, crying out through a moan. “Ah!” His reaction almost sent you wild. Taking care only to avoid grazing his markings, you fell forward, bracing yourself against the bed as you kissed him. He threw his arms around you and held you tightly as your genitals pressed between each other’s bodies, the soft tissue squishing into itself. You smiled into the kiss as you silently thanked the fact his eyes were solid black. If you’d seen them roll back in ecstasy as the two of you cuddled naked, you may have blown your load there and then.

You slowly drew your hand from between your bodies, bracing yourself on the other side of Asriel. Resuming the deep kiss, you gently began to grind your cock against Asriel’s, both members now stiff and rigid. Your partner let out a long, shuddering gasp as he felt his balls press against yours. You lowered one hand momentarily to fondle the two pairs, Asriel bleating and squirming around at the lewd contact. “Frisk... Harder.” It was the only thing he could manage to stutter out before he was overcome by sensation again, a shockwave rippling through his body as he felt your chest, belly, and thighs brush against his markings.

You forced your tongue into your boyfriend’s mouth. Asriel instantly surrendered as you pushed around his mouth, playfully bullying the slick organ. He fought back and you let him press slightly past your own lips, only to gently nip at his tongue, eliciting a cute squeak. You slowly began to ratchet up the length and pressure of the grinding, forcing your hips against his as you began to feel hot and bothered. Your heart was almost leaping from your chest as you and your partner embraced each other tightly, lips locked.

You could feel a strange sensation starting to overtake you, but not the vague aura you usually felt right before you knew you were going to cum. It was like your very SOUL was trying to reach out to Asriel. The pressure in your chest was too much; you felt like you were going to burst. You focused your mind, trying to zero in on Asriel as best you could. You thought of how unlikely and crazy it was that you’d ended up here from the state Asriel was in. You’d never experienced anything like this with him before, and it had all started with his choice to trust you with some of his deepest regrets.

He was a goat with all the love in the world to give. While he had a hard time expressing it, he’d told you just how badly he wanted to be able to feel normal things like a normal monster, and how terrifying it had been to not have that as Flowey. Deep down, he just wanted somebody he could be together with, someone who could protect him from the horrors of the world, and someone who could help him forget his deep loneliness. It had been a long, hard process to help him open up, but it was worth it. You’d done everything you could to ensure Asriel felt as comfortable and safe as possible, and that made a big difference for him.

You gasped as you felt your SOUL break through, the ethereal red icon slowly hovering in front of your chest. You shifted forward to gently press against Asriel’s torso, the SOUL snugly slipping into the wide depression on Asriel’s chest. He seemed to groan and go limp for a moment from the contact. Quickly recovering, he clawed his fingers against your back, pressing against your lips as hard as he could. Grinding against him one final time, your stomach dropped as you came. You shoved your tongue into Asriel’s mouth, the goat boy moaning indistinctly as his own orgasm pulsed through his body. You threw your head back, crying out as it hit you. For a moment, you were one.

Both your cocks twitched as they shot their loads, the thick cum oozing between your bodies. You kept the pressure on for as long as you could, gasping as you finally went limp. The two of you lay there wordlessly, the silence nonetheless broken by your shallow panting. It was a few minutes before you had the energy to separate your hot, sticky, messy bodies. You flopped off Asriel and back into the bed, both of you laying there spread eagle, content in the bliss of your shared afterglow. Asriel was the first to speak, letting out a weak laugh as he turned to you.

“Frisk... That was pretty gay.” You rolled your eyes playfully, Asriel smiling warmly up at you. “I loved it, though.” You leaned over to kiss him gently, the goat’s breath hot on your lips. Asriel probed at the sticky mess that you’d left on his belly, your own body splattered with the mixture of semen. “This is going to take forever to wash out, though.” He mumbled, though with no real urgency to his voice. You crawled to the end of the bed, letting your rear sway a little in Asriel’s view, as you picked up his discarded shirt. He began to protest before grabbing the now-stained shirt form your hands, wiping up his own mess as best he could.

“You can do the washing tomorrow... And maybe help me shampoo this stain, too.” You blushed and grabbed onto him as he referenced your fantasy; hopefully his current form hadn’t made him able to read your mind. He sighed and tossed the shirt across the room, not even waiting to see where it landed before he lay back down and snuggled next to you. “I love you, Frisk. I always will.” You rolled to your side and embraced him tightly, his head resting in the crook of your neck. You both lay there for some time, locked in each others arms, the howl of the blizzard continuing to rage outside the warmth of the bedroom.

...

You awoke slowly, blinking as you tried to work out how long you’d been asleep. It had been wonderful to simply drift off in Asriel’s arms, both of you naked, exhausted, and deeply embraced. You still had your arms loosely draped around him; he, on the other hand, had flipped some time in the night, leaving him as the little spoon. Glancing over to the alarm clock, the time was 2:56; still plenty of night to go. You gazed out the window into the thick fog that carpeted the landscape. The blizzard had subsided, but the snowstorm persisted, the howl of the winds reduced to little more than a low drone.

Asriel slept peacefully in your arms as you stared out into the tempest. Occasionally, he let out a quiet murmur, or shifted around in your embrace, but he mostly just lay still. Whatever was on his mind, it seemed he could manage it. The memories of the day hadn’t carried over into his slumber. You remembered the locket, still stowed safely in your coat. Sighing, you reluctantly broke the embrace with Asriel and slid from the bed. Creeping from the room, you made your way to the front of the house. Despite the dark and lack of others, you shielded your genitals, blushing slightly. Digging around in your coat pockets, you sighed as you grasped the small box - at least this had gone right.

You took a moment to admire the Christmas tree as you placed the small jewellery box underneath. It was elaborately decorated in green, white, and gold trim; the two of you had spent about five hours setting it up. Asriel had been fascinated by nearly every part of the process, from choosing a tree, to buying decorations, to riding on your shoulders to get the star on top. The lights glowed warmly against the dark, grey snowstorm that roared outside the window. It was a faint, but sure, beacon of light in a world of darkness.

Wandering back to the bedroom, you quickly paced to Asriel’s side as you saw him tossing and turning. You’d only been gone a minute or two, but it seemed he was already hurting from the lack of contact. His eyes were scrunched up and his fists clenched, muttering quietly to himself. “Nn... No...” You quickly embraced him and began soothing him, the goat boy slowly calming down. He stirred and rolled over to face you again, tired eyes flickering open. They were still a deep, smooth black, but even in the darkness of the bedroom, you could see a faint hint of his pupils and iris returning.

“Mmh... Love you, honey...” He murmured, eyes sliding shut just as quickly as they opened. He wrapped his arms around you and hugged back tightly. The two of you remained like that for the entire night, locked together tightly, your naked bodies pressed up against each other. The only sound left was the dull roar of the snowstorm, the two of you falling into a deep, peaceful sleep in each other’s arms.


End file.
